My Feelings

What Is My NExt TaRgEt?

2009-07-28T05:03:00.000-07:00

What Is my futher life?who would be with me in this life?haha...long time dint write blog...just come and type somethings inside...nothing much to type...but i experience alot of things in this few months...

Plan to buy a new car,but,scare have no enuff money to Paid,haha...what to do?izzit is important to change the car?but i using this car..here spoil there spoil..izzit i need to really chage the car?

family and friend is now i wanted...but frinship i lose someone,its hurt,,she dunno,but someone i get closer with her...i`m feel good...haih...

Pl@nning....

2009-04-15T04:50:00.001-07:00

Se Chik Now plan a lot of things...haih..plan to go somewhere can really cool down and have a very good rest...nothing regret for me...going to step far more..challenge myself.but 1 things for sure.i have no any plan to deside eat meat yet..hahaha...wait few more days..i will update my blog...

FeelS Guud Or Fee|s B@d?

2009-03-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

In thiS world,we will have many things we want to do,we want to get it,but some how,somethings bloke us,haih...what we can do?

Here to share what i want...i want a house,i want a good girlfriend,i want a car,i want a good friends,i want have a good career,and i want go TRAVEL and last and also most important is i want a good family(but somehow this is impossible)

so,dun be sad..god can give you somethings and also god can take everthings from us,this is true? where is my spiritual life?what is my religion?dunno..pending...say me are christian?i belive i`m not there..but i belive god will wait for me and always is my father,am i a buddhist?i also dunno.. chinggay i also go...

after resign boys` brigade?is good or bad?now.i wanted that things..i easily to get it and not control by time,if i`m join BB.1st cant do is BGR..and my career will be influnce..haih..dun comment so much bb..drop this topic.

what is my next target?most properly.i want go futher study.but also..i having finiancial problem.but i belive.this want can be solve..just matter i want to do it ornot.my friend said.. impossible is nothings.is true..everyone have a dream.but my dream is...be a sucessful ppl in this world.i dun wan to be a millionair. i just want a simple life..easy...

所謂的曾經，就是幸福 ~

2009-03-26T04:26:00.000-07:00

中午，我站在學校大門口當交通導護，幫助一年級的小朋友放學。

卓新勇的母親，悄手悄腳提著一個便當在校門口。被我一喊，她露出不好意思的表情。

「老師啊！．．．」

「哎呀！我不是跟妳講了嗎？學校不喜歡家長替孩子送便當。

如果每個媽媽都像妳這樣，學校大門就擠滿了人，那樣，我們怎麼放學呢？」

「我知道！我知道！」哼！知道了還送，簡直是明知故犯。

「妳不會讓他自己帶便當嗎！」

「我知道！我知道！」這些話，不曉得說了幾次。

每次一到中午，送便當的家長和放學的一年級小朋友，常常相撞在一起，造成相當的困擾。

卓新勇是一位沈默寡言，乖巧內向的孩子。

有次上課，他竟然打瞌睡，我很訝異，把他叫起來。

「怎麼了？」他一臉迷惘站起來，不回答。

第二天上課，也是這樣，我實在受不了，狠狠地把他叫過來。

「你到底怎麼了？」

我已經氣得半死，口氣已經控制不住。

突然，他垂頭淌下淚水。我暗自一驚。

「說呀！到底為什麼上課要打瞌睡呢？」

我媽媽住院了！昨天一直在醫院陪她。」

我一聽愣住了，頓時，心中的怒氣消失了，代之而起的是無限慚愧，「她為什麼住院呢？」

「是肺癌！」我一聽，心都涼到腳底。

心中想到身體贏弱的卓新勇。

如果，不幸那天來臨，他將如何繼續往後漫長的歲月呢？

想到這兒，不禁鼻酸。吃飯時，妻子在餵兒子吃飯，

我不禁想起，以前卓新勇的母親偷偷摸摸替他送便當。

第二天下班後，我騎著機車到醫院探望他母親。

幾個禮拜沒見，卓新勇的母親瘦得不成人形，蒼白的臉，光禿的頭，簡直不敢相信就是她。

她看到我，顯得很驚訝，努力想站起來，但是，一咳嗽，整個人歪了一邊。

「不要站起來！不要站起來！」

「老師！謝﹍﹍謝謝你！」她吃力喊著，眼眶消出淚水。

在醫院的走廊，卓新勇的父親對我說：「只剩下兩個月了！嗚！我﹍真的不知要怎麼辦？」他老淚縱橫。

回到學校，報告校長。

「他爸爸已經六十多歲了，現在母親又將離開人間，是不是我們可以發動全校募款。不管多少，都可以幫助他。」校長爽快答應。

經過幾天募款活動，我們總算募到五萬二千一百二十元。

把錢送到醫院時，卓新勇的母親已經在昏迷中。

「我們準備今天送他回家！」卓新勇的父親，臉形憔悴得發白。我一聽，心頭抽搐一陣。

「老師！能不能幫個忙？」

「請說！我能夠做到的，我一定答應。」

「他前幾天，一直拉著卓新勇的手，喊著：媽媽不能再替你送便當了！我想，請老師再讓她送最後一次便當，只有送便當時，他才真正感受到一位為人母親的榮耀。」聽到這兒，我百感交集地點點頭。

中午，一輛救護車呼拉拉開到學校大門口。

卓親勇的父親和一名醫護人員，推著擔架上的人。

我淚水盈眶，站在旁邊，伴當交通導護老師。

「到了！到了！」卓新勇的父親買了一個便當，躺在擔架上的卓新勇的母親，伸出瘦細蒼白的手提著便當，在旁邊人員推送下，慢慢靠近大門口的鐵門。

在鐵門的另一邊，卓新勇伸出右手，接過母親的便當。

「媽！」卓新勇嚎啕大哭。

這時，我清楚見到她母親瘦削的臉頰，抽搐了一下，彷彿想說話，但是，又說不出來。

「媽！我不要！我不要妳走！」卓新勇呼天搶地叫著。

我的淚水，再也控制不住，嘩嘩而落。我暗恨自己，以前是多麼殘忍！

隔天，卓新勇的母親就去世了。

卓新勇的母親出殯後。

一天，卓新勇的父親來到我辦公室，遞給我一包牛皮紙。

老師！這是你和學生們幫助我的錢，我認為還有更多的學生，需要這筆錢，所以，還給你們。謝謝你熱心幫忙。」說完，錢一放，就掉頭離去。

這筆錢彷彿生熱似的，直燙著我心坎。

我天天找卓新勇聊天話家常。深怕他經不起喪母的打擊。

「老師！你放心！我很好！你不要一直替我擔心！」

卓新勇對我說「我很早就知道，我母親就要死了，我也不是不想聽你話，叫媽媽不要送便當。因為，一天當中，只有中午，我才能吃到我媽媽煮的飯。」

我心頭一凜，「為什麼呢？」

她很虛弱，家裡都是爸爸在煮飯。只有中午爸爸不在，她才能偷偷背著爸爸煮飯。是她堅持要送便當的。」說完，卓新勇淌出淚水。

很感人吧！我看到一半就忍不住眼淚就掉下來了！

各位∼趁著父母健在的時候，好好的孝順他們喔！

不然........將來後悔也就來不及了！

一直以為幸福在遠方，在可以追逐的未來。

我的雙眼保持著眺望，我的雙耳仔細聆聽，唯恐疏忽錯過。

後來才發現---那些握過的手，唱過的歌，流過的淚，愛過的人......

所謂的曾經，就是幸福

ToUcH|nG StoRy

2009-03-05T04:26:00.000-08:00

世上最美味的泡面

他是个单亲爸爸，独自抚养一个7岁的小男孩。这是他留下孩子出差当天发生的事。因为要赶火车，没时间陪孩子吃早餐，他便匆匆理离开了家门。一路上他担心着孩子有没有吃饭、会不会哭，心老是放不下，即使抵达了出差地点，也不时打电话回家。可孩子总是很懂事也要他不要担心。然而因为心里牵挂，他草草处理完事情，便踏上归途。回到家是孩子已经熟睡了，他这才松了口气。旅途上的疲惫，让他全身无力。正准备就亲时，突然大吃一惊：棉被下面，竟然有一碗打翻了的泡面！“这孩子！”他在盛怒之下，朝熟睡中的儿子的屁股，一阵狠打。“为什么这样不乖，这样调皮，把棉被弄脏了要给谁洗？”这是妻子过世之后，他第一次体罚孩子。“我没有……”孩子抽抽咽咽地辩解着：“我没有调皮，这……这是给爸爸吃的晚餐。”原来孩子为了配合爸爸回家的时间，特地泡了两碗泡面，一碗自己吃，另一碗给爸爸吃。可是因为怕爸爸那碗面凉掉，所以放进了棉被底下保温。爸爸听了，不发一言地紧紧抱住孩子。看着碗里剩下的那一半已经泡涨的泡面：“啊！孩子，这是世上最……美味的泡面啊！”

M|sS YoU..Do U Be|eVE?

2009-03-03T03:22:00.000-08:00

I Cant Stop Missing you,you can see my calender...what day and what i do..this is me every month scedule...Hehe..

Maybe you will 1 day leave me...That times come...i really dont know what to do...but for now.i will enjoy my hapiness time with you.sometimes i make you angry..i`m here to say sorry.but what i espect you!is be mature...maybe you still are young..but no matter how.. your studies and your family come first...3rd is me never mind...

I cant feed you everyday...you also can feed yourself when i was not around right?do what you want?i wont stop you..but i sure will give you suggestion and support you at ALL THE TIME...do you belive?

Because of you...i give up some of my favourite parts..i dint blame you..but i belive we should step in or step out...we need to learn sacrifice..sometimes you want that things i can`t 100% to give you...but I WILLING to do MY BEST to get it for YOU...

Lastly...i want to say...i love you very much...maybe i am not your future husband...i am not perfect boyfriend too..i just want you to take good care of yourself and do what you want to do...

I will set up my career well...Action speak louder then words..let's see...what is my resulf?only sucess or fail..if i fail..i sure will stand up again and do until i sucess...wait for me..what i promise you..i will go and do..belive me...Only the best...nothing less...I will Do my best...

S|LenT...

2009-03-02T16:01:00.000-08:00

Look & listen,the wave the bird sounds and the lights is on!!what did you see?what did you hear and what is your feeling?

*Maybe We don't know what you thinks..but do you know what people thinking?

Se Chik Is going to have a big sick soon....haiz..because now i am saving money to enjoy my life..not out of country..but plan to go Pulau Redang..is a small islands..but can let me feel comfotable & relax..

Resign is a good choice for me..is me to think what is next?next step what should i do.heard alot of my rct are promote to L/cpl Cpl & Sgt..all of them are just started thier BB life..hope them enjoy and learn it..do not complain..

Now me and my dear dear going to have 3 years relationship le..haha..love her so much..but sometimez my hot temple is not good..she still can tahan...well...haha..alot of quarrel..alot of misunderstanding.but we can go through..haha..she give me alot of things..not i dun like..is just too expensive and i hurt..i love you..seriously..i am not a good leader..not a good boyfriend.. but i am a good man..wahahhaa..=-enjoy what we have-=

HoW To Be @ SucEeSs Le@der

2009-02-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

Although many effective leaders are naturally charismatic, there are a number of leadership behaviors that can be adopted by anyone who wants to have greater support from other people. While some leadership techniques may sound manipulative, a wise leader knows the best results come from having people provide their support willingly. Good leaders not only “walk the walk”, they “talk the talk”. When they speak about the future, they are positive and upbeat. Yet some people feel the way to get support from others is by telling them how grim a situation is, hoping that will make them want to help turn things around. In the end, good leaders believe that every team member matters and foster an environment that makes everyone feel important.

How to treat your colleagues,

Step1:Good leaders need to communicate their vision, good leaders know they need to communicate “what’s in it for you” in order to have employees go the extra mile.

Step2:Be flexible in your planning. If Plan A isn’t working, avoid bemoaning the situation and instead come up with a Plan B. If necessary, have Plan C waiting in the wings. Maintain a can-do attitude and you are likely to attract people who will support you in achieving your goals.

Step3:Communicate the big picture, so that each employee can see how the particular role he plays makes a contribution to the final result.

Step4:Become a positive influence to your employees, by demonstrating a strong belief in something impressive.

I HavE @ GuUd S|sTeR....

2009-02-17T21:01:00.000-08:00

I write this. Because I want to say big thank you to my sister. Name called shih shih; she bought a nice watch to me on this valentine. I like this watch very much, eventhough we are not couple. But we are brother and sister...

When the moment I receive the watch from her, I really feel happy and don’t know what I can say, because she is 1st time bought watch to me…I though she going to scold me, because after chingay I on leave. But lucky is not what I think.

Jie…thank you very much, I really happy you bought a nice watch to me. I will take good care of it...maybe sometimes me always nagging with you. But you always are smiling and teach me a lot of things. I feel comfortable…thank you and I love you :)

OnE SwEeT DaY

2009-02-04T19:01:00.000-08:00

Sorry I never told youAll I wanted to sayAnd now it's too late to hold you'Cause you've flown awaySo far away.

Never had I imaginedLiving without your smileFeeling and knowing you hear meIt keeps me alive.

And I know you're shining down on me from heavenLike so many friends we've lost along the wayAnd I know eventually we'll be togetherOne sweet day.

Darling I never showed youAssumed you'd always be thereI took your presence for grantedBut I always caredAnd I miss the love we shared.

Although the sun will never shine the same againI'll always look to a brighter dayLord I know when I lay me down to sleepYou will always listen as I pray.

Be $tRonG!!!

2009-02-02T17:21:00.001-08:00

Looking Back 2008,Am i change?alot of things need to be solve.most properly is all my bills.haha.haiz....dunno how i can start.

Just give me some days to update my blog ya.dunno how i can say.i just can say i am happy what i am right now.have a sweet sister.well.just passby and say happy new year 1st lah.haha..

Le@rN $omEtH|ngs.....

2009-01-13T05:17:00.000-08:00

Before enter my topic,i want share 1 story,i was get shock during i watch the show in channel 8,got 1 family.after the father died,by the way,father was make an accident,and the worse things is,1 mother have to take care 5 children.the most bigger only 19 years old and the most younger is only 5 years old.

They are facing some problem,example like financial.food.stay.and clothes,the most i respect is.she still can take care of 5 children without work,this things wont be survice so long,slowly the sufferings come to her.the end she still can stand up and never give up.try to amagine.a big house.got computer table but without computer.got rice cooker but without food..amagine this,we are lucky and must give thanks what we have.dun take for granded.

Today jie are teach me.all people sure have suffering,stress,sad,quarrel.and she ask me.what is the big deal,after tomorow we still need to face it.the end what she trying to say is.we are the one to look for happiness..dun worry about so much,what trouble things will come..you want to skip it.no matter how.problem still will come and look back for you.we must stay firm and face it.most important is we are the one to look for *happiness*

SwEet MemOry II

2009-01-07T05:40:00.001-08:00

Now,i am gonna to introduce my another sister,she name call jannet,haha,this picture very nice right.,i like this picture very much,she is pretty,but already married..lucky,haha!she is a friendly person.abit blur lah.but shes willing to help her own dept members.oh ya,she is purchasing officer..

WHy she become my sister? i also dunno,i only know she very care for me...i tot she always "fu yan" me,but is not what i think..i always make her angry.not i want.i just want she more focus on me.this reason only.why my both sister keep saying busy?i dunno..but they have think what i feel?both of them are never know what i am thinking about also....

i have been introduce 2 sister on my blog ready...1 is shih shih...and this want jannet...both of them in everspark treat me very good..i feel comfortable with work with them.have stress..but i love to work with them lah.during work still can get some fun,not all the time lah.atleast not so serious...now both of them started to scold me if i have do anythings wrong,haiz,,,what to do...both of them are my sister.is my real sister ah..both of them are 1 part of my family..i love it..and i want to say big sorry to jannet jie jie.i always make her angry.hope she forgive me and always be with me.....i love you..

SwEet MemOry

2009-01-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

This Picture i take a long time ago,but not very long lah..beside me this beutiful girl is my sister,abit stubborn lah,haha.but she is good..really..teach me alot of things..now she started will scold me if i am do anythings wrong.why i want to talk about her?

She have teach me alot of things..and sometimes she knows what a i thinking,i not need to say out what i feel,and she will feel it...haha.(its true)i never let her know.

In everspak,as a new career for me,learn from basic..and a low salary.but never mind.lets learn from it.*don`t complain your own dept members ,solve the problem and work with smart.

对不起，我爱你

2009-01-02T23:21:00.000-08:00

他，忙于工作，每天早出晚归。

她，结婚后就辞去工作，每天呆在家里。

他，拼命工作，努力赚钱，为的是两人可以有个更好的未来。

她，辞去工作，全职顾家，为的是守护两人幸福的现在。

他很爱她，她很爱他。

他很老实，她对他在外面工作很放心，绝对信任他。

她很独立，他对她照顾自己很有信心，绝对放心她。

每天夜里，当他夜归时，煲里还有温着地炖汤。

每天早上，当他起床时，桌上都有温暖的咖啡。

这样的日子，从结婚后开始，持续了三年。

她从不过问他的工作，只是知道他在越升越高，日子渐渐富裕起来。

他从不过问她的家事，只是知道家里井井有条，家庭依旧和谐幸福。

他不喜欢电脑，每天工作就对着电脑N小时了，回家决不碰电脑。

她不喜欢电脑，每天却在独处的时候对着电脑N小时，非常忙碌。

直到有一天，他接到一通电话。

'请问是陈先生吗？你的太太晕倒被送入院，她的子宫癌已经是末期了，请你来见他最后一面。'

晴天霹雳，他赶到医院，看着她悲痛欲绝的问她为什么不告诉他。

她看着他，对着他微笑，告诉他她爱他然后微笑着永远闭上眼睛。

他失去了生活中心，他失去了人生方向，他失去了他爱的她。

他后悔，他懊恼，他怨恨他自己，为什么没花多一点时间陪她，去了解她。

妻子出殡后，他独自回到空无一人的家里，厨房里不再有炖汤。

他坐在客厅里发呆，想哭却哭不出来。

这时，他看到了客厅里的电脑，他想看看照片，这些他仅剩和她美丽的回忆。

第一次开启家里的电脑，看到桌面上有个叫《老公，是我》的文件夹，里面有1095个录影片段。

电脑荧幕上出现了一张熟悉的脸孔~

扬声器传来熟悉的声音~

他的眼泪，终于决堤而出。

'老公，是我啦~~从今天开始由我陪伴你过吧~~不过你要答应我，一天只能看一个哦~~我们终于结婚了，你知道吗？能嫁给你是我一生最大的幸福，我会把每天发生的事情记录在一段录影日记里，几年后的结婚纪念日拿给你看，一定很有趣的~................'

影片接下来就是她絮絮不休的说着一些生活上的琐事和他们之间的事情，他看了看影片日期，结婚的那一天~

第一次，他违背了深爱的她的意愿，一个又一个的影片看了下去~

'老公，你很忙碌，要好好照顾身体哦.........'

'老公，今天难得你陪我去购物，我好开心哦.........'

'老公，一周年纪念日了，谢谢你的礼物，对不起还没能给你生个孩子，我们再努力吧......'

'老公，我身体很不舒服，不懂为什么常常会肚子痛，明天我自己去看医生好了......'

'老公，医生说我患上了子宫癌，建议我切除，你说他是不是傻的，我还想要孩子呐.......'

'老公，我有乖乖做治疗的，药都有吃，不过我不要做化疗，剃了头就不美了，你一定会笑我的.......'

'老公，医生又叫我切除子宫了，他说不然就太迟了，我痛骂了他一顿，这家伙不知好歹，总是要破坏我们的计划.......'

'老公，我看我应该不怎么行了，请原谅我不告诉你，因为我想你永远记住我美好的一面，这些事情我自己来就好了.......'

'老公，我们结婚都已经三年了，我想我是撑不住了，我不在后，你要好好生活，炖汤的食谱都在电脑里，咖啡的冲泡方法也在里面，一切都为你准备好了，你要好好学着照顾自己。'

'老公，如果你一天看一个录影，现在已经三年了，你应该习惯了没有我的生活吧？是时候把我收在回忆里自己走出来了，你的人生还很漫长，找个爱你和你爱的人继续生活吧。'

'老公，应该是这几天了，我知道时间到了。不过我猜想你应该不会那么老实一天看一个影片吧，看到这里你也累坏了啦，我也很累了，是时候离开了。记得，好好继续生活啊。你还记得吗？你说过你会爱我一辈子的，我也回答你我会用我的一辈子去爱你。现在我们的诺言都实现了，我要离开了，我的确用了我的一辈子去爱你。你也别难过了，你已经爱了我一辈子了，这样的我们，很幸福不是吗？.......最后一次了，老公，对不起，我爱你.....'

看完了1095个影片，他不知道已经过了多久，泪水流了又干，干了又流。

打开窗帘，温暖的阳光照了进来，他对着晴朗的天空，轻轻说了句~

'老婆，对不起，我爱你~'

$tEp |n oR OuT

2008-12-26T05:57:00.000-08:00

But for me i think i will enjoy my life,me myself wont regret,really,i already know what to do,i will stay firm,all the best..2008 is going to finish..2009 is coming.look forward..all must be strong..(dear,i will support you always and i will hold your hands forever)

2008 enter my working life...know alot of collegue as well..haha.got good got bad,got happy and sure got sad,i really hope i can continue my study even i dont have any qualification,but if 1 day i really can step in my colledge life or any can study de place.i sure will take a good effort to study.maybe some of you will think can go colledge ah.but i having finance problem.i have nothing,but i will try to work hard on it...until i have a bit money i will continue my study,maybe got people will look down on me.but never mind..i will prove it.....

2000 i was enter my bb life...that time,is a perfect life...alot of friends in my bb life.the 1st year always is the best,but after few years..more responsibility.more stressful,and whatever we do,must think twise,well..i very thankful what bb give me..alot of knowledge...especially my english.eventhough now my english is very bad.but i`m willing to learn.i not scare people laugh at me.i can learn myself even i really stupid.i regret from young dint study hard.but i hope all for teenager go and enjoy their school life..maybe boring.but you wont regret you get a good result....and i going to say bye bye to my bb life...well..if bb need me..i sure will go back. but i belive nowdays bb have alot of "smart" guys ready..all the best.. my officer's & my belover friends....

FeE| $wEet @_@

2008-12-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

When i was young,come from a broken family,i tot everthings is finish,but,not finish yet,actually is a begining...look at the baby,i miss my pass time......

Now.enter the working life,actually is a streeful and politic world.but lucky i know 2 sister,treat me very good...if real life,both of them are my sister,i will no regret in my life,both of them help me alot and alot...i have learn alot of things from both of them too,here to say thank you,maybe they wont know i say thank you,but in my heart,both of them are my perfect sister.do you want to know them.go to my friendster and view the featured friends.then you will see both of them.

Haiz...se chik...se chik is how de guy i also not so sure?who can tell me?today i most properly sick..i feel very stress..i need to on time pass up my task everyday.oh my god.but i have alot of good collegue,like a very big family.

Up t0 LeVel

2008-12-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Look at the stars...is shooting down,what am i thinking now?Love?Family?friends?collegue?now really is my time to think about it..we need to step forward and not step backward.i seriously happy what i am right now...i not need sympathy by all of you.i`m wake up.stay firm and work hard.this is my target.what is my target next.tempolary is...i need to have a good rest.nowdays feel stress,stress and stress...no more than other things.

Thank you for helping me so much.go through so many things...fall down ready must quickly stand up back.if not..you will fall down "forever" and never "stand up",when people do good..have nobody seen.if you are doing wrong things.all the people will shoot you at the back and some more people stand infront and shoot you.come on guys.problem come out..quickly go and solve and "not" create the problem become worse.

Dear,this sentance is talk about you.come on.forget the pass time and we restart our relationship again.whatever we talk whatever action what we did,whatever we want to do.must think carefully,we must be mature.stay firm..i wont regret you be my girlfriend,i will forgive what you have done for me.and don`t think so much.lets forget it and make a new relationship again.lastly i want to say. .... "i love you forver"

ChR|$tmAs C0M|ng

2008-12-03T22:00:00.000-08:00

Chrismas Is coming Soon...Yeah.And What Is my plan?Hmm..Going back to work le loh..haiz..follow my sister went back factory and work,but all my collegue will celabrate this event too..happy oh..because they also have exchange presents..i like this..hope all the world people have happy christmas....